Meet Joe • Recent Press

2010

January 19

Ehrmann: We need to redefine masculinity, femininity

By Andy Rieger

After spending five months visiting a pediatric oncology ward and then burying his younger brother, Joe Ehrmann started asking deeper questions about life's meanings.

He was at the peak of his career as a professional football player, earning more money than anyone in his family's working class neighborhood ever imagined.

"I had been hitting the long ball but found nothing but pain and confusion," Ehrmann said from his home in Baltimore. "That's when I started this journey on how to define life."

Billy Ehrmann was 10 years younger than Joe. A Ronald McDonald House in Baltimore was dedicated to his memory in 1982.

"It was at his funeral that I started to ask the deeper questions of life," Ehrmann said. "I've never forgotten the clarity of perspective at that moment."

After his professional football career was over, Ehrmann rededicated his life to the Christian ministry and work with youth. He travels to churches and communities throughout the country, hoping to leverage his professional sports background with a message of hope and relationship building for today's youth.

While in Oklahoma, he'll speak to high school students, University of Oklahoma athletes and a free, community forum at 7 p.m. Wednesday at the Nancy O'Brian Performing Arts Center, 1809 Stubbeman Ave. His message will be similar to all three audiences.

"If we could redefine and reframe what masculinity and femininity means, we would have a radical change within the community," he said. "My message will be about a multi-systemic approach to change. Every child is embedded in multiple systems -- family, school, community, sports and recreation. They need to hear one coherent, consistent message."

Ehrmann traces many of the growing problems facing children -- violence, eating disorders, substance abuse -- to misconceptions about the role of masculinity and femininity.

"The problem is kids have no clear and compelling definitions. They haven't seen it modeled or nurtured. Their parents and adults are just as confused. People just haven't thought through that."

The media message sent to boys about how to be a man is athletic ability, sexual conquest and material possessions. "I think you can trace every social problem back to those three lies," he said.

He coached high school football for many years and was the subject of Jeffrey Marx's book, "Season of Life." It chronicled Ehrmann's coaching style that used praise, community and relationships to build a successful team. He no longer coaches, but the style continues at the school.

"As a coach, you have to ask yourself what is your purpose. Far too many coaches are doing it for their own fundamental needs. What would happen if you put your players' needs ahead of your own?"

Andy Rieger 366-3543 editor@normantranscript.com